If this is what it feels like to be emo then I don't want to be emo anymore. Shoving my hair in front of my face so the world won't see me and I can't see it. Turning my mp3 on to full blast so I can't hear what goes on in the world around me. Having darkness and sorrow as your best friends isn't much fun.I hate waking up depressed, with tears inmy eyes everyday. And to constantly think about hurting or even killing yourself only to find that you're too afraid to do it...afraid of the consequences. But see, that's the silver lining in my very big, dark cloud. I still believe that there are consequences to face if I do something like that. Meaning I still belive in heaven and hell. So a part of me still belives in God. God..can you not see that I NEED you?

I went down to NTUC to buy something today. When I came back I saw Jessie waiting for me on the steps.MEOW! Yes angel, I love you too. Then I saw Sree's letter in my file. Thanking me for helping her feel at home. And wanchen's v-day present. She took the trouble of buying it for me(how'd you know I only like dark chocolate?), wrapping it up, writing a note and leaving it on my table. Even though I'm not her senior anymore, and she didn't have to even talk to me anymore. It's nice to know at least two or three people think you're worth their time. Two or three is a small number, I know. But three's a crowd. Right?
I always used to think those lines about faking a smile or wearing a mask, or those lines about facades were all so cliche. Now, I realise how true they are. Cause that's exactly what I'm doing every single day.

Labels: Masquerade. Hide your face so the world will never find you.

lifeonthemurderscene10:34 AM