Oh well. We did what we did and we did what we did well.(damn, I like that sentence. ALLITERATIONISM). I'm not going to let a bunch of cranky, stingy old men spoil my mood. Like what more could you expect from a group of 14-16 year olds?!?! Band might be a 24-7 thing for them but for us SCHOOL is a priority, band is a CO-CURRICULAR activity. If you were expecting proffesionals like yourselves out there, I'm sorry you didn't get it. Okay, I'm not one bit sorry. If it's one thing I learned from MCR, it's that we can only do our best, and leave the rest of the world to decide what they think of it. I'm sure our audience enjoyed it. I did.

I know I cried after our performance cause I wasn't satisfied with my solo but, whatever. Maybe I set too high an expectation for myself. I knew that no matter how many times I had screwed up my solo before, this was my ONE LAST SHOT, the shot that MATTERED, to prove myself to everyone else, and more importantly, to myself. So I was expecting it to be PERFECT. Obviously, it was not. I guess, I was being a little too unrealistic. Shang Yu was right. I had set myself too high an expectation, and OBVIOUSLY, I failed to meet it. But oymygosh, MY SECTION. I honestly love them more than anything.(besides my e flat. MIKEY. LUVYA) They were all like comforting me and assuring me that I played fine. And I guess it wasn't all that bad after all.

But there is one thing I did that I'm VERY VERY proud of. Or rather, one thing I didn't do. I didn't shake. I honestly cannot believe it. I didn't feel a single inkling of fear when I walked onto that stage. My throat didn't run dry, I looked straight at ms sia, and I played with confidence. The old me, the nervous wreck, would NEVER have managed that. This is why I've become so attached to my e lfat, mikey. He was with me through thick and thin, for better or worse...and all that crap. Heheeee! In love with a CLARINET. I shared some of the most important moments of my life with him :D He was a pART OF ME!! He watched me change from a nervous wreck who shook like anything even during band pracs, to the confident "debonair" who played with confidence during the most important competition. I am so, soooo, reluctant to give him off to someone else now. You have NO IDEA how much it hurts.
lifeonthemurderscene8:16 PM